Today is our 30th wedding anniversary so perhaps I can be forgiven for being a little sentimental? But I hope I won't sound too much so, as sentiment is certainly not enough to hold two people together for 30 years!
I know it sonds corny, but I think of marriage as such a gift. Undeserved, unexpected in many ways, a joy beyond anything else I have experienced.
Thinking about the meanings of the Greek word for love - agápe (brotherly love), éros (romantic love), philía (friendship), and storgē (affection) - I feel we have had (and still have) them all. Through no virtue of our's, just as gifts.
Elisabeth and I have very rarely had any seriously difficult moments in our relationship. We are very fortunate.
Have we got on well partly because we are so different? Perhaps. But we have also had to learn to respect each other's strengths and accept each other's weaknesses.
Never more so than during these last few weeks in Sweden. We are living in a little summerhouse (which is happily surviving the rigours of another severe winter) which we plan to extend and make our permanent home later this year, after we have sold our house in Oxford.
My nature is very impatient. I want to get clear as quickly as possible on the 'roadmap' of the next months. I wish to make giant strides forward in planning the extension and signing up the builders. Elisabeth needs a slower process, taking a step at a time rather than trying to deal with everything at once. We have had altercations a couple of times, when we have said things that were hurtful to the other. These have been a welcome reminder of our constant need to respect each other and give space for each other. Needing to say sorry is not something to be ashamed of. It is when we don't feel there is anything to be sorry for that we have a problem.
And so we look forward to the adventures of the years ahead, expecting to enjoy them (even when there are hard times), to be constantly challenged (even when things might seem comfortable), and to be always aware that gratitude is by far the best attitude.
