The two Peace Circles workshops came to a successful end on the 16th May 2008. The two workshops gathered a total of 24 women from six diverse tribes in Kenya. Amira Elmissry from South Africa/Zimbabwe, Ann Njeri & Carol Khakula from Kenya facilitated the workshops.

‘I have learnt so much from the workshop. There was nothing I was hearing for the first time. I have always read and known this from great people and philosophers – but I never implemented them. From here, I will go and implement them – though I know it is difficult. If I change I will impact my family and society. If fifteen of us in this workshop change there will be 15 families and 15 villages/towns impacted – and the waves continue’

Brainstorming

The above remark was made by one young lady who participated in one of the two Peace Circles workshops that took place from 11th to 16th May in St Mary’s Pastoral centre, Nakuru, Kenya. The two workshops gathered a total of 24 women from six diverse tribes in Kenya. The generational gap - between 18-60 years; the different professional backgrounds - a government leader, communities/villages leaders, women activists , a journalist, Project managers, local facilitators , NGO’s and farmers, college students, a HIV positive lady: was not a dividing factor but a uniting one. They could all relate to each other as women with respect, trust & understanding and see their potential in building peace in their homes and respective societies starting with themselves. Amira Elmissry from South Africa/ Zimbabwe, Ann Njeri & Carol Khakula from Kenya facilitated the workshops.

The session looked at the core tools of being a peace-creator, engaged discussions as to how one can/could build inner and external peace.

Women in a session

The workshop was an eye opener to many participants and provoked critical introspection. Half way through the workshop, a young journalist was already questioning herself. ‘Why do I hate people? Why do I do the wrong things?’ Later, she expressed that she had found the need to understand other people before being judgemental. Inner listening is also another thing that she was so happy to learn. ‘I have learnt something very important – and this is inner listening – this moment of silence is amazing – it had never flashed in my mind that it exists. I am so happy and I want to pass it to someone else who needs it so much – my mother’, she said.

The workshop’s content largely covered inner peace, which is ultimately reflected on the outside and therefore affecting those close to us. The effects ripple on to society, nationwide and eventually the globe. Participant’s brainstormed on what builds and destroys peace. It was interesting to note the high potential women have to be peace creators and the equal potential they have to destroy it! ‘I will not say anything negative of other tribes or any other person – women kill each other because of gossip and small talk. I want to be seeing the balls of energy, the beauty and the Godliness in all people.’ said one young lady at the end of the workshop.

Personal story sharing time

One of the greatest and effective tools for Peace Circles is the personal story sharing. A session that gives women an atmosphere of trust, respect and confidentiality to open up and share their life stories especially on strong points that have shaped them to who they are. With a burning candle in the middle of the women circle, moving stories were shared. The women – happy on the outside - both young and old bore one thing in common: from being rejected and stigmatized for being HIV positive, being battered by husbands, being hunted to be killed, the infidelities, the tortures, the diseases, the illiteracy, the pain, the need to be loved and appreciated…. In a few words, you could tell that many family relationships are filled up with hate, anger, feelings of revenge, resentments… ‘These are volcanoes that will sooner or later erupt…they need to be let off’ explained Carol Khakula in a diagrammatic way.

Our stories and experiences can affect the society positively or negatively depending on how they are told. They can be used as tools to create or destroy peace. ‘I thought my story was the greatest and most painful but I have learnt it is not. I will be telling my story without spitting venom – I have learnt how to forgive.’ a lady, who is an assisting secretary to a Member of Parliament, shared.

Appreciating each other!

Forgiveness came out so strongly, many women felt they had a relationship to mend for it was black and white ‘You can not be a peace creator if all you have in your soul is bitterness’. ‘I find it hard to forgive but I will go ahead” was echoed by most of the women. Forgiveness is a process and may take time; I am willing to make the first move’.

One elderly lady felt a great force to forgive a brother in-law whom she had vowed never to forgive. ‘I have an in-law who’s my enemy – he took all my family owned and left us poor – in the last post election violence – he told me he was the chairman of the Kalenjins killing Kikuyus in his area. I questioned him as to why he had to be the chairman of death, violence and innocent blood – he told me to shut up and said that they also wanted to kill me – I was ready to be killed. I have always wanted to forgive him but there have been difficulties. I have decided to go and speak with him and forgive him. I cannot be at peace with my family or society until I put right this relationship. I will go and face him once I go back home’, she said.

A middle aged woman had an apology to make. ‘I need to go and reconcile with my mother and sisters – I have to apologise to them – I have been wrong. I also need to apologise to my in-laws and reconcile with them’.

Dining and interacting

Tribalism/individualism provoked heated discussions – most Kenyans being as tribal as they can, it was an eye opener for many participants after living in a community consisting of seven tribes: sharing rooms, dining together, interacting and understanding our differences and common points. Almost all the participants had resentments or prejudices of one or more tribes other than theirs. ‘After the December elections, I was among two hundred Kenyans attending a church conference in Rwanda. When the tribal violence hit the country – we also started fighting on the basis of our tribes – blaming each other's tribe for what was happening back home. Even the churches which could have given guidance had become so tribal’

After group discussion on tribalism Intermarriage was one of the ways which one group proposed as a way to fight the monster. The group suggested that the government could even introduce incentives to those who intermarry. After the post election violence, intermarriage has not been a thing to support for many Kenyans, but after the workshop one lady had found a solution to a tribal conflict in her home. ‘I have to love all tribes, my brother is dating outside my tribe and the whole family is against it. I will go and talk to my family to set him free, since I have learnt we are all the same.’

‘Am I being tribalistic when I don’t like aspects of the other person’s culture even though I don’t hate them?’ Questions like these opened avenues for taking apart the word tribalism and repackaging it as having both negative and positive effects - depending on how it is used.

One of the most interesting sessions was communication: do we send mixed signals – do we give other people a chance to understand – what kind of a listener are we – partial, interruptive, genuine or we hardly even listen. The exercise gave participants a chance to walk in the other’s shoes: it was an eye opener that led to decision to listen better.

At the end, women showed interest of passing the word forward. ‘I will organise women’s meetings in my village & church and pass this message, I feel this might even bring my family back to me’, said a young lady who was kicked out of her family at a very young age - less than 10 years old and who had escaped assassination several times. Amidst all the hell she has been through, she still felt the need to forgive. ‘I will go back and reconcile with all those who wronged me in my family. I will go and find out if it is me who has a problem or it is them - and reconcile. I want to go and set an example. If I forgive, God will forgive me.’ She was a sign of hope, determination, success and courage to all the participants.

I pledge to be a creator of peace...

Having accepted to be creators of Peace, the workshop ended by making the Pledge ‘I will stand up and speak out for Peace’ which was created by nearly 300 women from all over Africa and the world.

There will be a Peace Circles re-union on the 27th July, 2009. This will be a call back to all those who have participated in the Peace Circles workshops including the one that took place end of last year facilitated by Jean Brown and Tehmina Siganporia.

Report by: Ann Njeri Ndiangui (Kenya), Amira Elmissiry (Zimbabwe) and Carol Khakula (Kenya)