Parenting, according to me, is ‘the art of raising happy and healthy children by parents who are themselves happy and healthy’.

I am convinced that members of a family who have adequate sleep, who undertake regular exercise, eat healthy food and find time to share worries and laughter with each other, remain happy and healthy. In India, a caring joint family offers this. Hence, young parents are advised not to take a hurried decision to stay alone, if adjustment is possible.

Newspapers are full of stories of school children committing suicide, undergoing depression, indulging in pornography, etc. Children brought up in an atmosphere of love are less likely to become victims of such incidents. However, it must be understood that children do not like ‘soft’ parents or even ‘soft’ teachers. They prefer a loving but firm and consistent caretaker who assumes the role of a democratic leader. Children must also be made to understand that while one must work hard to get good results, sincere effort is more important than achievement.

Parents should also guide the children to structure their time-schedule for enough sleep, meals, studies, play-time and television. Effort should be made to have at least one meal each day with the whole family.

I see several children presenting with problems related to lack of sleep. They tend to vomit before rushing for school, present with symptoms like tiredness, lack of attention and poor performance in exams. Young school-going children need ten to twelve hours of sleep at night. Teenagers need nine to ten hours. The bedtime must be fixed. Parents, who follow the dictum of ‘early to bed and early to rise’ and who avoid late night TV serials, set the right tone for healthy living.

Many children munch junk food as they watch TV for hours. Add to this a life without exercise and sports, and you find a fat child with all the risks of obesity. Still, some programmes on sports, geography, new discoveries and animals are quite interesting as well as educative. Parents must stick to rational TV viewing for themselves as well as for their children. It should be restricted to half to one hour on school days and one to two hours during weekends or holidays.

One disease that is spreading rapidly in children from the higher socio-economic group is ‘affluenza’ (not influenza). Such children start getting used to an easy life and instant gratification. They neglect their studies and waste time in unhealthy pursuits. Parents may find it helpful to keep the acronym LEAD (Love, Example, Acceptance, Discipline) in their minds as they lead their wards. In an atmosphere of love, the child feels secure. Parents must set a good example, accept children as they are and then help them realise their full potential. They must give due importance to discipline in their own lives as well as in the lives of their children. Late nights, alcohol, smoking, fights with each other, touchiness, greed, illicit relationships - all these have a negative influence on young minds.

I believe that families which pray together are more likely to stay together. As children grow, let parents help them listen to the voice of conscience which speaks in every heart. Let both parents and children keep in mind the three magical words – Please, Thank you and Sorry and cherish values like Truth and Love. Children should be encouraged to refuse to do anything for which they may feel sorry later. With this approach, they learn to make conscious choices on their own.

While giving the best to their children, parents should not forget their own inner-child and their own need for relaxation and creativity. If the mom is fond of music, let her find time for it. Let her spend time with her husband and whenever possible, go out with him leaving the child with a trusted person.

In the end, I would like to draw the parent’s attention to my favorite book Timeless Simplicity by John Lane – a book about having less and enjoying more; enjoying time to do our work; enjoying time to spend with our family; enjoying time for eating; enjoying time just to be.

– Dr. R K Anand
Paediatrician and President, IofC/MRA, India